Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed

So the last couple of weeks the Lord has been teaching me a great deal about the areas in my life that are lacking. He’s also been bringing up past emotional wounds and inadequacies for me to deal with. To say the least, this has been an emotionally draining time. It seems that God breaks me over something everyday.

What’s funny is this is actually an answer to my prayers. My prayer for the last few months has been that God would bring me out of my apathy and spiritual dryness. I remember in several of my prayer times hesitating. I remember praying for the Lord to break me and wondering if I was really serious. I counted the cost and knew that I didn’t want to continue in the lifestyle I was in.

So Thursday morning was a culmination. I had procrastinated on a paper for two days and was going to get up at 5:30am and finalize it. Well I overslept and also missed my class. I also did not have time to read my bible or pray before class. At the same time, I spent the entire morning dealing with feelings of confusion and inadequacy. Now in the past, I would have just gripped and complained about my circumstances. Or perhaps I would have drowned my sorrows in food or sleep. This time was different.

I got to work and my boss could tell I was stressed. He asked if I owned a gun. I assured him I did not. I grabbed my Bible and journal and told him, “I’m going to take care of things.” I sat in a vacant conference room and just bored out my heart to the Lord and let him speak to me through His Word and through prayer. Now I’m not saying that everything is going to feel “right as rain” after spending time with God every time, but He knew that I needed to be refreshed and have my spirit calmed.

Because of the LORD’s faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness! Let us strive to know the LORD. His appearance is as sure as the dawn. He will come to us like the rain, like the spring showers that water the land.
Lamentations 3:22-23, Hosea 6:3